If I Should Fall Behind Wait For Me

 

Why ?

The question so often asked of people who run. The question, sometimes so hard to answer.

It makes me a better person???……it really doesn’t

I just love it???……most of the time but not always

It gives me time to think???…… This one, I should do this more often.

‘I’ll wait for you, should I fall behind please darling wait for me.‘

I played this song 6 or 7 times on the way home from a solo run in the hills this morning. A run full of thought, full of thanks, full of love.

 

Ever met someone who has just started running. They’re so enthusiastic and so pumped about how fast, how far, how healthy, how everything. It can be truly inspiring. It can also be truly painful. Kind of like a 20 year/two pack a day smoker who has been off the darts for a week and is telling you how unhealthy you are.

I’m sure I started out like this in some ways. Funny enough even started writing a blog about the whole thing. Along the way I’ve tried not to preach, I’ve tried to just do. I’ve tried to tell my story without coming off all better than anyone else. Sure, I have achieved a lot of great things over the last few years. Gone fast, gone far, got healthy but I’ve always been wary of turning into a serial poster or spruiker of ME!!

Even still there is a genuine interest from people at work, family and friends. Non-runners are always asking how far did you go on the weekend or during the week. Sometimes the honest answer is I did 50km on Saturday or the weekly kms may have edged over a hundred. What has become normal-ish for me still provokes responses like: 'I didn’t drive that far this week' – or – 'Oh my god, you’re just an idiot'……in a good way. Again, to be honest, (why would I lie), these responses make me feel good about myself. As an extension of these feelings, it’s possible I was starting to think I had this life thing sorted. Running well, teaching in a rich vein of form, getting the lad involved in footy and momentarily off the ipod. All too easy.

The running and the achievements of how far/how fast definitely make me 'feel' better but that in itself doesn’t make ‘me’ better. I think along the way the lines blurred. I think to a degree I had taken my eye off the ball. I had believed that one thing made me who I am. I thought all was sweet. I was wrong.

It can take one word, it can take one action or it can take one poor choice to bring it all crashing down. It can be laziness or just a lack of focus over a period of time. It can be complacency and relaxing just a bit too much, taking things for granted.

I had a moment to pause recently, thought I was leading the way. I wasn’t. Not even close.

I had definitely fallen behind. Luckily someone was waiting for me.

I teach angels in the classroom who go home to treat the ones who love them most with tantrums and tears.

Adults sometimes are not so different.